“Do you have any copies of Alan Tichmarch's”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t like Tichfart.”
“Tichfart? did you just say Tichfart?”
“No?”
“You’re supposed to have copies of all the latest gardening books”
“No I don't”
"Why not?"
"Because I don't do books that have been written by so-called TV personalities, and especially not by perverts who leer at Charlie Dimmock's tits."
Customers are numbnuts.
