Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Day 155 Honour

I wrote Roope a letter. Here's what I said.

Look I admit I have made mistakes in the past, and I am sorry for all that has been said about you and Virpi. It was wrong of me to suggest that she had done a Boris Becker in the broom cupboard with Uno.

Even although until recently you have been sleeping rough in the tunnel under the West Way I wholeheartedly believe that since you have moved into a council flat your sensibilities have become so much sharper and you have become the archetypal man of honour who remains ever alert for any insult, actual or suspected, that would impugn your dignity.

I am fully aware that you have challenged me to a duel, and I would like to bring to your attention a matter of dueling ettiquette. Namely duels are fought between members of the same social class, and since you have moved up in the world, (living in a selfcontained one room apartment) and I remain so low, (living with my mother) you must realise that if you were to soil your hands on a ruffian such as myself, the mere act would stain your reputation in the eyes of decent society.

Therefore I beg of you, take pity on yourself, for if you continue to persue this reckless desire for blood letting, you will find yourself ostracized by the community, for a man of honour is also a man who exercises mercy and forgiveness"

I farted in the envelope and posted the letter to him without a stamp.