Tired of answering the phone so I have recorded a new answer machine message. Instead of telling people they have got through to a garden centre the phone tells them they have got through to a mental health center. Here what I told them to do.
"If you have a repetative compulsive disorder press 1 repeatedly"
"If you are co-dependent get some one to press 2 for you."
"If you have a multiple personality disorder press any of the keys in a random fashion"
"If you are paranoid don't hang up we will trace the call and be right with you"
"If you are dyslexic press 69696969696"
"If you have a short term memory problem call back later."
"If you have low self-esteem we are sorry all of our operators are busy"