The twin set tweedie with the astrakahn collar minces up to the counter and sniffs.
"Your deportment young man leaves a lot to be desired"
"Your slovenly appearence is upsetting to the patrons of this garden centre"
"You will soon be turning this emporium into something that resembles the grubby little dives that you no doubt inhabit, bars where you can drink cheap blended whisky, and bad imported extra strength lager, and the conversations are more about football than Kafka"
"Kafka!!! Was he the mid-fielder from Sparta Prague who tried to sign for Celtic but couldn't get a work permit?"