Got a call from the police station.
"Do you want to press charges for criminal damage of those pumpkins?"
"What do you mean? Do I have to give statements, or go to court, or appear as a witness, or identify the skaters at a lineup?"
"Well if the due process of the law has to be followed then yes it would involve some of those things"
I thought for a moment. Do I really want to get involved with punks who don't tie their shoes laces, and don't have enough sense to buy trousers that fit them properly at the crotch. Punks who are perpared to walk around with the arse of their trousers at their knees, and hip pockets at their ankles. Punks who wear wooly hats indoors, and have goatee beards that look as though they have black licorice spittle running down their chins. No way, so I said.
"Couldn't I just hit them a couple of times with a baseball bat?"
"I'm afraid Sir we could not condone that. It is not for citezens to take the law into their own hands"
"Forget it then "