Uno is mightily impressed by the Raving Loony Party of Great Britain, and thinks that the Finnish government should adopt some of their policies.
Economy: We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
Education: Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches.
Political reform: The House of Lords will become the House of Cards, to make it easier to deal with.
Transport: All cars will be converted to run on Venos to help stop congestion.
Home Affairs: The Millennium Bridge will be made wobbly again, by building a pub at either end.
Law and Order: Anyone caught breaking the law will be made to mend it.
Immigration: Everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
Sport: Boxing will be made obligatory for people we don’t like.
Football: All footballers will be made to wear flip-flops to make the game more interesting
Environment: All people that think that they have a right to roam will need permission from the Pope.
National Anthem: In future the National Anthem will be ‘Bring Me Sunshine’ as sung by Morecambe and Wise. It is quicker, more tuneful and people know the words.
