Monday, May 02, 2005

Day 195 Loony

Uno is mightily impressed by the Raving Loony Party of Great Britain, and thinks that the Finnish government should adopt some of their policies.

Economy: We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
Education: Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches.
Political reform: The House of Lords will become the House of Cards, to make it easier to deal with.
Transport: All cars will be converted to run on Venos to help stop congestion.
Home Affairs: The Millennium Bridge will be made wobbly again, by building a pub at either end.
Law and Order: Anyone caught breaking the law will be made to mend it.
Immigration: Everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
Sport: Boxing will be made obligatory for people we don’t like.
Football: All footballers will be made to wear flip-flops to make the game more interesting
Environment: All people that think that they have a right to roam will need permission from the Pope.
National Anthem: In future the National Anthem will be ‘Bring Me Sunshine’ as sung by Morecambe and Wise. It is quicker, more tuneful and people know the words.