Boss has heard about the funeral wreath stories. From the way his hands are flapping about, he is madder than an Estonian who has just lost the World Air Guitar Championship.
I tell him "Go look it up"
"Look up what?"
"Why do people give wreaths at funerals"
"Save me the trouble smartass... what does it say?"
"What do you mean... nothing"
"Precisely that... nothing."
"But it's a sign of respect!"
"Sign of a bad conscience more like it. Died deserted and demented in an old-folks home. If they had wanted to show some concern they should have bought him a pizza from Monty Cristos and put a smile on his face before he died. He would have appreciated that."