"You are not suitable material for a father"
"Newborn babies prefer to look at attractive faces. So that rules you out"
"If you play Vivaldi's Four Seasons forward, babies like it. But if you play Vivaldi backwards, they don't like it so much. If I were having a baby... which I'm not. You would completely warp it with all that deathmetal music you play"
"What if we played the deathmetal music backwards. Would that be OK?"
This is getting serious. Piggy could be preggers.